Hi everyone,

I am in the last leg of my application process and have a question that has been keeping me up at night: how informal can a personal statement be?

About a week ago, I had finished my cover letter template and was tailoring it to each program (9 in all). That being said, I wanted to grab the reader's attention by starting it off with a twist, which can be perceived as humor by some, but as something else by others:

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of being a rock star. I play the guitar, I love my band, and music is my passion. However, it does not pay the bills, and our gig at Madison Square Garden has not quite come through. Fortunately, I have a parallel passion that is as rewarding for me as music - Law.

Upon showing the letter to some teachers, they like the first paragraph, saying it added a nice touch, but may be perceived as bad by some committee ppl. My aunt, on the other hand, who screened Masters Applicants back in the day, said to take out the first paragraph at all costs an simply start with something more general and nice.

Ive already sent out a couple of apps without the first paragraph and simply want to know if it was the right choice. What do I do?

look at it this way.

Would an admissions board make you an offer based on that opening paragraph? short answer: no.

But might they see it and not take your application seriously because of it? Maybe, or maybe not. But if theres even a little chance that they might, then its not worth putting it in there.

So basically, yes. you did the right thing. good on your aunt for steering you in the right direction.